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 Living My Life Out Loud

I do not allow my past to define. Let  me say that again, my past WILL NOT define me. Yes, shitty things have happened to me in my life, but I knew I deserved more (despite what I was told). My body, mind and spirit reminded me (daily) of my tenderness. I felt broken, angry and depressed, still I longed to be happy. So, I did something about it—I committed to living my life out loud. “Living out loud” means, loving and respecting yourself, and more importantly your journey (for good or not so good).

I love every facet of me, regardless of who doesn’t.

I made the decision to live and love me. Not because I needed to impress someone or wanted to be liked.  My journey, no longer was about being the smartest, it became a path of allowing myself to make mistakes, and being okay with them. I learned to stand alone with my reflection and honor myself, no matter how big or hideous I saw myself. I loved on me. I remained gracious with Christy until I could confidently say, I am somebody. For the first time in my life I can honestly say I feel free.

Now, I am a design student, who honeymoons as a novelist, part-time poet and creative entrepreneur. I spend my days enjoying the wonder of the world. I share my adventures in my blog, Thrive. I hope that you will join me there.

Do you have a story of resiliency to share?  Drop me a line I would love to help you celebrate your joy!

 Love and Light,


Today I AM Free

by A poem by: Christy Lynn Abram

Little Miss Somebody: Based On a True Story


Fourteen-year-old Nikki is forced to leave her whole world behind when her mother makes an impulsive move to Missouri. Once in the heart of Saint Louis, her mother begins a vicious cycle of abuse and abandonment, leaving Nikki to fend for herself at her grandmother’s house, amidst her mother’s drug addicted siblings.

Humiliated, lacking resources, and feeling more than ever like a burden, Nikki decides to take matters into her own hands—when she embarks on a journey to find her father, a missing piece to the puzzle of her life. Along the way she unravels more pain and layers of family abuse, causing her to want to give up.

But she won’t give up. Not yet. Not Nikki. Not until she finds what she’s looking for. But, will Nikki find the love she desperately needs?

Little Miss Somebody was Featured on Read the article here!

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“To Love Oneself is the Beginning of a Lifelong Romance” -Oscar Wilde


New Blog Posts!

Why Broken Girls Never Find Love

I’ll be the first to tell you, I’m not the best at relationships. The abuse I endeared has taught me to be sensitive, carry a ton of guilt and allow the green destructor (Vera) to live in my tender places. I’ve always wanted to fit in—no fuck that, I wanted to feel loved and appreciated.  So, often I find myself going out of my way to be a supportive mother, wise sister and understanding daughter. Then, when I get back less than what I hoped for (usually because of my expectations), Vera comes out and it’s Hulk smash time. Why? Because, I fear rejection. My fear of rejection causes a lot of issues in my life and relationships. Mostly, because I feel the need to act before someone hurts me. My discomfort usually manifests as angry outbursts, “cutting people off” or being a plain ole’ bitch. I’m not bragging, nor am I saying allowing Vera to ruin Christmas dinner is acceptable. What I am saying is learning your triggers may be the first step to healing your wounds (and your life). People are going to be who they are no matter the expectations you put on them. I believe the reason trauma survivors have such a hard time building relationships is because we don’t know how to be honest. Can you truly tell your loved why you’re upset without fearing you will lose them? Let me give you  a few words of wisdom— if you lose someone because you were honest, they didn’t belong there anyway. We can’t control anyone but ourselves. Expectations are merely a way to protect ourselves... read more

Why It’s Okay to Be a Bitch (Sometimes)

I’m sure the title of this article made you giggle or raise your brow, it was supposed to. I was inspired to write these paragraphs while reflecting on my two-week journey on the East Coast. Although me and my partner, Dewon have been together for half of a decade, I had never met his family (with the exception of phone conversations and video chat). Elated, I packed my what-nots and boarded a jet to North Carolina, nervously anticipating wrapping my arms around the folks who had watched my beau grow. After flying all freakin’ day, we finally landed. We were greeted at the baggage claim by his brother and sister-n-law. My first instinct was to walk swiftly their way and bear hug them. I’m sure they thought I was weird as hell, but they welcomed me anyway. Over a few weeks, we visited Virginia Beach (which was beautiful). I had a chance to meet his massive family, which, I must admit was a little overwhelming. The food was great. The mosquitoes, not so much.  I found myself barricaded in the house for the last week because those suckers were having me for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  After a few days of being inside, I grew frustrated- I wanted to go home. Needless to say, the asshole in me (her name is Vera) began to seep through my crevasses. Where does the bitchiness come in? Well, I’m getting to that… Now, my journey has taught me a lot about myself. But, I must admit there are parts of me that still feels being perfect is essential. As trauma survivors, we... read more

4 Tips For Dealing with Difficult People

Dealing with difficult people is an inconvenience we cannot control. I know it’s not fun, but as much as you would like to give them a wedgie, you can’t.  Instead, you must learn how to work with the interaction. Everyone we meet is our reflection for good or not so good.  How do you work with them?  The simple answer is to be kind to them and yourself. There is nothing you can do to control someone’s behavior.  I’m not saying you take their abuse, however, beating up the grocery store clerk is unacceptable on so many levels. In most cases, we are in the wrong place at the “right time”.  I believe the Universe creates situations to inspire growth. We all have experienced someone that was obviously having a crappy day and wanted you to know it. Did you deserve it?  Probably not, but the opportunity was presented for you to learn a lesson. As we ebb and flow through life, we are being challenged to deal with challenges as adults—no more screaming, yelling or having temper tantrums.  Our job is to use our big  girl/boy words as we speak our truth and take responsibility for the things/ people we create in our life. Yes, it gets hard, but until we learn to work through our triggers holistically, we will perpetuate the same cycle. In some way, we’re always going to be working with the crazy cousin, bratty sister, power hungry mother or disrespectful child. Other times, our lessons come in the guise of a boss, coworker or neighbor. Family or not, their likeness represents a dynamic you... read more

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